kingsman_thesecretservice

[If he looks up, he’ll be lost. He’ll want what he can’t have, what less than a day ago he hadn’t realized he’d even wanted. It’s always like this the longer he’s away. His mind loosens up and he thinks things, remembers things, that don’t make any sense. If he looks up, he’ll want to run away, too.

Bucky dresses quickly. Buckles belts and straps his knives back on, slings his gun over his shoulder, bends down near Zevran to grab his other shoe to slip it on. He ties the strings, and he glances up.

He’s lost. Zevran’s not smiling anymore, the time between now and when they’d fucked feels like a lifetime. Bucky’s shoulders sag and he leans in, pressing his forehead to Zevran’s thigh, fingers gripping his calf and ankle.]

They’re so close.

[He shuts his eyes.]

We wouldn’t get far.. [His eyes snap open.] But you could.

[Zevran watches him quietly dress. His eyes linger on that body that was just against him and watch as its covered again. It might be the last and only time he sees Bucky without his gear on, he hopes not though.

He knows that they are close and that he should get moving. He feels sluggish though. The serum they gave him isn't exactly like the super soldier's. It turns him invisible and gives him some healing, better reflexes, and stamina. He knows he has the energy to move, he just doesn't want too. Then he feels Bucky's warmth on his leg, and he has even less desire to move...until he says that.

He huffs at the idea. His brow furrowing as he glares off to the side and to the dirt. He pushes Bucky from him so he can finally start to dress.]

I'm not leaving you.

[Hes offended that Bucky even suggested that. He doesn't speak his disapproval though. He just quietly buckles everything back to its place and tries to clean himself off some before he puts his underarmor and jacket back on.]

[Whatever Bucky might have been feeling, the desperation that had made way for longing then hope that is spoiled the moment he’s pushes away. Bucky’s eyes go wide, hurt flashing across his face before anger and then nothing. He puts the mask back on and stands up.]

I wasn’t asking.

[He reaches out and snags Zevran’s arm, pulling him against him abruptly. Bucky backs him to the wall, hands rough on his hips.]

Make it so they can’t see you.

[Bucky tightens his fingers, smashing their mouths together in frustration. He pulls back.] Make it so they can’t see you. [He kisses him again, just as frustrated, just as rough.] Do it now.

[Zevran didn't mean for that reaction. He's frustrated, angry at fate and most of all wants more than he can have. He's taken a back by Bucky's change and roughness.

He opens his mouth to give Bucky another quick snap but he's cut off by the roughness of the kiss. His hands go to the ones of his hips, pulling them closer to him instead of trying to push away this time. He doesn't want Bucky to mistake that his frustration is aimed at him. His back arches slightly, pushing against Bucky's as he nearly melts into him. One kiss and he already wants more. One touch and he is set on fire it feels like. Maybe if he knew more about love he would call that the feeling he gets when Bucky is close, but all he knows is desire and need.]

No. [His head gives a tiny shake. His expression remains stoic, but his eyes start to glass over just slightly as he speaks.] I'm not leaving you in this Hell.

[Bucky's hands slide up to Zevran's shoulders, pressing in, his body pinning him against the wall. His fingers bruise, his arm whirring as the metal adjusts and shifts.]

Go.

[A part of him wants to beg Zevran to leave. Another part, a selfish and lonely part, doesn't want him to say anything. Bucky hasn't had anyone this close in a long time, as far as he can remember, and the idea of giving it up feels suffocating. But, he's not that selfish. He's not that kind of person, not underneath the words and training and what Hydra does to him. Bucky would rather Zevran disappear and be free, than be stuck here in Hell with him.]

If you go, then we can both be free.

[The longer he's away, the more he remembers. Not people, but the crushed up bits of memory that tell him he's not the soldier.]

Don't you want that?

[If Bucky is trying to make him feel guilty, it works. It pings at his heart as it sinks into his belly. His expression falls and his eyes avert. He couldn't look at Bucky, because he knows that he can't say 'no' to him for long. A long, shaky breath leaves him as he closes his eyes.]

Promise me-

[He licks his now dry lips. His hands tremble as he reaches for the one sleeve that Bucky has. He doesn't want to leave him, not like this and not after they just did. He desire for years was to get closer to the other man, to know him better than anyone, and to be desired by him. He hopes that he accomplished those goals.]

Promise me you'll be right behind me.

[He is already thinking of a plan. They could meet back on the other side of town and head into the mountains from there. They could get disappear and leave it all behind. At least that's his plan.] I'm not going unless you can do that.

[It's manipulative, cruel even, for him to use guilt as a motivator to get Zevran to leave without him. He doesn't want to treat the other man like this, to hurt him or ruin what they've only just started, but he doesn't see another option. It's a good strategy. A smart one. He makes Zevran leave, distracts their handlers, and he can go back under knowing that one of them is free.]

I will be. Always.

[In some ways, Bucky thought he'd always be just right behind Zevran. Following close, reaching for him. Even if they aren't physically anywhere near one another. He ducks down and presses another kiss to his mouth, softer, almost like saying goodbye.

Bucky steps back, picks his gun up and heads to the window opposite the door. If he doesn't put space in between them, he won't be able to do this.]

They're coming from this direction. Go that way.

[He doesn't take his eyes away from Zevran.]

[When they kiss, Zevran can tell it's a goodbye. He feels his eyes string under his lids and threaten to spill as they reopen. He doesn't want this, but it's their only chance. He can't let it pass up. As soon as he leaves, Bucky will follow. He promised.

His chest grows tight when they separate. Like his own bones will crush him from the inside. He almost hopes for it, because death would be easier than this right now.]

I'll wait for you. [His voice cracks and betrays him. The longer he stares at Bucky, the more he doesn't want to leave. He's lucky Bucky went across the room, or else he wouldn't have been about to move with him near.] East side of town. 3 klicks out. If you aren't there-

[He will be there. He promised. He said he would be. He won't break that.

If Zevran keeps telling himself that then it might come true.]

Then I'm coming back for you.

[That is his promise, and he would keep it. Before he could say anything else, or talk himself out of it, he vanished. The air in the stop where he stood waves and moves as if heat were move through it. The waves slowly made their way to the exit that Bucky had pointed too.] Farewell, mi leon.

No.

[The sound of Zevran’s voice cracking is like a knife to the gut, and his eyelashes flutter at the memory of a small, blond child. He’d been frightened, another Hydra recruit to be broken and trained, and Bucky had tried to free him. It’s been years. That boy is a man, the man across the room from him, and he knows now that he can’t fail him again.]

It’s too close. You don’t wait on the edge of town for me.

[Bucky considers each nearby town, and then farther out, then farther still.]

Keep moving. Head east and don’t stop until you hit water. Then go north.

[He’s talking to nothing now and he doesn’t know if Zevran heard. A voice in an empty room, but it’s all that he has left.]

I’ll find you.

[Turning back to the window, he grips the ledge and jumps out. When his feet hit the ground, he starts to run south. Away from Zevran and away from the helicopter. He hovers by the edge of the trees, waiting for them to see him and then he dives in. It’ll take them a long time to find him, but it will give Zevran the space he needs to get away.]

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